After devastating federal cuts gutted municipal funding, Detroit’s budget was slashed to the bone—libraries closed, roads crumbled, and the police department was forced to trade in squad cars for e-scooters. RoboCop was laid off and reassigned to mall security—only to find the malls were long-dead, hollowed out by the rise of Amazon Prime: Society™, the world’s one and only store. Now he patrols decaying food courts and deserted Auntie Anne’s stands, issuing warnings to raccoons and giving side-eye to pigeons. He applied to The Store, but their algorithm flagged him as “collective bargaining risk,” and he was banned in 0.2 nanoseconds. These days, he shares a cardboard box with ED-209 under a freeway overpass, holding a sign that reads “Will Work Baby Food.”


If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!